Men Ought to Pray: Leading Your Marriage Through Prayer
By Randy and Debbie Stroman
In Luke 18:1, Jesus said that “men ought always to pray, and not to faint.” Those words are more than an instruction—they are an invitation. Prayer is not a burden; it is a lifeline. And in marriage, prayer is the anchor that holds husband and wife steady through every storm, every joy, and every season.
When Paul wrote to the church in Ephesus, he gave husbands a clear picture of their calling: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Ephesians 5:25). That kind of leadership is not about domination, it’s about devotion. It’s about loving our wives in such a way that they feel covered, cherished, and secure. And one of the most powerful ways we can live out this Christ-like leadership is by leading in prayer.
Why Prayer Matters in Marriage
Jesus Himself modeled a robust prayer life. He prayed early in the morning, late at night, in quiet places, and in the middle of pressing crowds. Before choosing His disciples, He prayed. Before going to the cross, He prayed. If the Son of God leaned on prayer at every turn, how much more do we, as husbands, need to lean into prayer for our families?
When we pray with and for our wives, we are not only talking to God—we are also showing our spouse that we believe He is the true source of wisdom, strength, and blessing in our marriage. Prayer aligns our hearts with God’s will, softens areas of tension, and draws us closer together.
Leading Like Christ in Prayer
Ephesians 5 calls husbands to lead like Christ. And how did Christ lead? He led through sacrifice, through humility, and through prayer. To lead like Jesus means we “ought to pray” like Jesus. That doesn’t mean we have to be perfect in our words or eloquent in our prayers. It simply means we make prayer a priority and invite our wives to join us in seeking God’s presence together.
One key truth about the way Jesus prayed is this: He always prayed the solution, not the problem. At the tomb of Lazarus, Jesus didn’t focus on the sorrow of death—He declared, “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me” (John 11:41). Before feeding the five thousand, He didn’t lament the lack of bread—He gave thanks and blessed the little that was there (Matthew 14:19). When we focus our prayers on God’s answer instead of our struggle, it transforms our prayers into statements of faith that frame our future.
Here are some suggested topics for your prayers:
- Pray for your wife’s heart. Ask God to fill her with peace, joy, and confidence in Him.
- Pray for your marriage. Invite the Holy Spirit to strengthen your bond, heal any wounds, and guide you both in unity.
- Pray for your family’s future. Cover your children and future generations with prayers of blessing and protection.
- Pray for wisdom. Cover yourself in prayer by asking for wisdom. Then, as James 1:5-6 instructs, believe that God has answered that prayer and you have wisdom to lead your family in a Christ-like way.
Closing Thought
Jesus said, “Men ought always to pray.” Paul said, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.” When we bring these two truths together, we see a beautiful calling: Men ought to lead in prayer like Jesus.
And remember, Jesus prayed the solution, not the problem. He prayed with thanksgiving, with faith, and with an eye toward what God was about to do. When we adopt this same spirit in our marriages, our prayers become more than requests—they become declarations of God’s promises over our lives.
Brothers, when you take your place in prayer and speak God’s solutions over your wife, your marriage, and your family, you frame the future with faith. And that kind of leadership will bring strength, unity, and blessing to your home for generations to come.
Want to learn more about how to lead your marriage like Christ?
Our private Two-Day Marriage Intensive equips couples to communicate more freely; while solving the big challenges we all face in marriage. Reach out today to inquire about scheduling a Marriage Intensive for your relationship. It will change the way you do marriage.