Why the Best Never Graduate from the Fundamentals
By Randy & Debbie Stroman
Today I attended a Major League Baseball game. I arrived early enough to watch batting practice and fielding drills before the game began. As I sat there watching, something caught my attention that I had never really thought about before.
These were not high school athletes learning the game. These were not minor league players hoping for a chance. These were the very best baseball players in the world, competing at the highest level of their profession. They have played baseball for most of their lives. They play nearly every day during the season. Yet there they were, carefully working through the simplest drills—catching routine ground balls, taking batting practice, and repeating the same fundamentals they had practiced thousands of times before.
It almost looked as if they were beginners. But they were not. They understood something every champion knows: You never outgrow the fundamentals.
The reason they perform at such a high level under pressure with everyone watching is because they faithfully practice the basics when few are watching.
Realizing that was a universal truth, I could not help but think about marriage.
So many couples believe that once they have been married for a few years, they should not have to work on the relationship anymore. They assume love should simply happen naturally. Then life gets busy. Careers demand attention. Children require energy. Financial pressures increase. Before long, they stopped practicing the very skills that once made their relationship strong.
A great marriage is not built because two people know what to do. It is built because they continue doing what they know when no one is watching.
The apostle Paul told Timothy: “Exercise yourself toward godliness.” (1 Timothy 4:7, NKJV). The word exercise implies intentional, repeated practice. Spiritual maturity does not happen accidentally. Neither does marital maturity.
James reminds us: “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” (James 1:22, NKJV). Knowledge without practice never changes a marriage.
God’s Design Has Always Included Daily Practice
Throughout Scripture we see that God works through daily disciplines. Jesus taught us to pray for our daily bread, to take up our cross daily, and the Israelites gathered manna every morning. God’s pattern has always been steady faithfulness rather than occasional intensity. Marriage works the same way. The strongest marriages are built on thousands of ordinary moments lived faithfully when few are watching.
Simple Drills Every Marriage Should Practice
- Speak Life Every Day
Choose to encourage your spouse every day with sincere words of appreciation. “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification…” (Ephesians 4:29, NKJV).
- Pray Together
Prayer invites God into the relationship. “A threefold cord is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12, NKJV).
- Listen Before You Respond
Seek to understand before being understood. “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” (James 1:19, NKJV).
- Extend Grace Quickly
Be quick to forgive. “Forgiving one another… even as Christ forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13, NKJV).
- Stay in God’s Word Together
Read and discuss Scripture together. “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” (Psalm 119:105, NKJV).
Discipline Produces Freedom
Discipline is not about perfection. It is about consistency. The greatest marriages are not those that never struggle. They are the ones that continually return to the fundamentals.
What If Your Marriage Is Not Playing at the Major League Level?
Perhaps your marriage feels more like it is in a losing season. The good news is that every professional athlete has experienced a slump. It is not an indictment, but a wakeup call to renew your focus on the fundamentals. When a batter is in a slump, they take more batting practice. When a golfer is in a slump, they spend more time at the practice facility. Why do we see the wisdom of that when it comes to a professional athlete, but then forget this when trouble finds us at home?
Marriage was designed to thrive with God at the center in every season—in crisis and in peace. Every great marriage is built by those willing to practice the fundamentals. You were created for deep connection, lasting joy, and unshakable love—a true championship team. So why does marriage feel so difficult sometimes? It is because we stop practicing the fundamentals that make marriage work.
Our book, God’s Promises for Marriage, is designed to help couples establish daily disciplines that strengthen communication, restore trust, deepen faith, and build the kind of marriage God designed. In God’s Promises for Marriage, we share ten biblical principles to strengthen, enrich, and transform your relationship from the inside out. These are the marriage fundamentals drawn from Scripture, practical wisdom, and decades of coaching couples around the world. Each fundamental reveals how aligning with God’s design deepens intimacy, builds healthier habits, and helps you create a love story that grows stronger over time as you practice these skills.
If you desire to practice these marriage fundamentals, you can get your copy of the book here: https://www.book.yourgreatmarriage.help/
Never Stop Practicing the Fundamentals
As I left the ballpark today, I could not stop thinking about what I had witnessed.
Tomorrow, those same Major League players will be back on the field. Before the fans arrive and before the first pitch is thrown, they will be practicing the same routine ground balls, taking batting practice, and working on the same fundamentals they’ve repeated thousands of times throughout their careers.
Not because they have forgotten how to play. But because champions never graduate from the fundamentals.
Neither should we.
The strongest marriages are not the ones that have figured everything out. They are the ones that continue, day after day, to practice love, kindness, forgiveness, prayer, encouragement, and God’s design for marriage.
The baseball game may end after nine innings. A great marriage is built over a lifetime. So never stop practicing the fundamentals. One day, you will look back and realize you were not just building good habits—you were building a championship marriage.
There’s Still Hope
If your marriage feels stuck, discouraged, or you are simply unsure what the next step should be, you do not have to figure it out alone. For two decades, we have had the privilege of helping couples rediscover hope, rebuild trust, and create marriages that honor God. We would be honored to help you take your next step.
Learn more at yourgreatmarriage.help or email help@yourgreatmarriage.help.