The Law of Priority in Marriage
By Randy and Debbie Stroman
Every thriving marriage relies on timeless biblical principles, and one of the most important is the Law of Priority. This law is found in Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
In this single verse, God reveals that after Him, marriage is meant to be the highest human priority in our lives. Let’s unpack what this means and how couples can align themselves with this truth to achieve lasting success.
Why Do We Call Them “Laws”?
We use the word law because these principles function much like natural laws. Think about gravity: most of the time, you don’t think about it because it always works. But if you were to step off the roof of a five-story building, you’d suddenly become very aware of gravity—the law never stopped working, but your misalignment brought painful consequences.
The Law of Priority works the same way. When a couple lives in alignment with it, the relationship feels steady, natural, and secure. But when other things push marriage out of first place, the impact is felt quickly through distance, conflict, or hurt. God’s laws are not suggestions; they are unchanging truths that either bless us when we honor them or bring struggle when we get misaligned. Consider Mark and Jenna’s story.
Mark and Jenna – Career First
Mark had poured himself into his career, convinced that working long hours was his way of loving Jenna. But Jenna felt increasingly lonely and unimportant. Arguments started because she longed for connection while Mark thought he was providing security.
One night, Jenna said through tears, “I don’t need more stuff; I need my husband back.” That conversation shook Mark awake. Together, they set boundaries around his work hours and reintroduced date nights every Friday. Mark still excelled at work, but because Jenna knew she was his first priority, after God, their intimacy and peace returned.
What the Law of Priority Means
When Scripture says a man must leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, it sets a new order of relationships. Parents, children, friends, hobbies, and even careers all have a rightful place—but none should come before the marriage covenant.
The Law of Priority teaches us that after our relationship with the Lord, our spouse is to be the most important person in our lives. Marriage was never designed to survive as an afterthought; it thrives only when it is nurtured as a top priority.
What Happens When Priorities Shift
Marriage problems often arise when something else moves into first place:
- Work: A job becomes more important than the relationship.
- Children: Parents can unintentionally neglect their spouse by pouring everything into the kids.
- Extended family or friends: Outside voices can compete with a spouse’s voice.
- Hobbies or technology: Sports, scrolling, or personal interests can steal time and attention.
When these “good things” take the wrong place, the marriage feels neglected and begins to weaken. Another area where couples easily get out of alignment is in meeting the demands of the kids. Consider Luis and Maria.
Luis and Maria – Children First
Luis and Maria adored their two children and gave them every ounce of attention. But as the years went by, their conversations revolved only around school schedules, sports practices, and homework. One day, their daughter said, “I don’t think you guys even like each other anymore. The only time I hear you talk is about our school or sports events.” That innocent observation cut deep.
Luis and Maria realized they had gotten their Priorities out of alignment by putting parenting above their marriage. They made a shift: the kids now had a set bedtime, and after that, the couple spent an hour together talking, praying, or just laughing. Their children quickly noticed the change, because a healthy marriage became the best gift Luis and Maria could give their family.
How to Align with the Law of Priority
- Keep God First, Your Spouse Second
Your walk with Christ fuels your ability to love selflessly. When God is your ultimate source, you won’t demand from your spouse what only He can provide. - Demonstrate Priority Through Time
You can say your spouse comes first, but without time together, the words feel hollow. Schedule regular date nights, shared meals, and intentional conversations. - Set Boundaries with Others
Healthy marriages sometimes require saying “no” to parents, friends, or coworkers. Protect the sacred space between you and your spouse. - Invest Daily, Not Occasionally
Just like physical health requires daily habits, relational health grows through daily affirmations, encouragement, and small acts of service. - Revisit Priorities in Different Seasons
The arrival of children, career changes, or financial pressures can tempt priorities to drift. Periodically check in with each other: “Do you feel like you’re still my top priority after God?”
The Blessing of Alignment
When couples honor the Law of Priority, security grows. Each spouse knows they are cherished and chosen above all others. This creates trust, intimacy, and unity—the very ingredients God designed for marriage.
Putting your marriage first is not about neglecting other responsibilities; it’s about placing everything in its rightful order. When the marriage covenant is honored, every other part of life—family, work, and ministry—finds its healthiest expression.
Takeaway: After God, your spouse deserves first place in your heart, your schedule, and your decisions. Honor that divine order, and you’ll discover the joy and success that God intended for your marriage.
Want to learn more about how to keep your marriage aligned with the Law of Priority?
Our private Two-Day Marriage Intensive equips couples to communicate more freely; while solving the big challenges we all face in marriage. Reach out today to inquire about scheduling a Marriage Intensive for your relationship. It will change the way you do marriage.