By Randy and Debbie Stroman
The Wisdom of Having a Guide
Several years ago, I was traveling on the East Coast. I had ministered at a church in New York and was heading next to a church in Delaware. I noticed I had an extra day in my schedule—which was rare—and I had an idea: What if I detoured to Gettysburg National Park?
While I am not a historian, I genuinely love history, especially learning how people thought, acted, and the mistakes they made, so we can avoid repeating them. I have always wanted to visit Gettysburg. I’m a fan of Abraham Lincoln and, earlier in life, had memorized the Gettysburg Address. This felt like a rare opportunity to walk the very ground where so many men gave their lives for freedom.
Knowing it might be many years before I could return, I decided to hire a private guide—a Park Ranger—to take me through the park. His name was Tom.
Tom asked me how I wanted to do the tour. I told him, “You’re the expert. How would you recommend we do this?” Without hesitation, he replied, “You will get the most out of Gettysburg if we follow the chronological order of the three-day battle.”
So that’s exactly what we did. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I could have made.
As we moved from site to site, Tom explained what happened at each location. Standing on the terrain, hearing the story unfold in sequence, I could clearly see how the battle developed—why certain decisions were made, where strategies succeeded, and where mistakes proved costly. The landscape came alive. The story made sense. It was truly an illuminating experience.
And that experience has stayed with me ever since—because it perfectly illustrates why having a guide matters.
Why a Guide Changes Everything
I could have walked Gettysburg on my own. I might have seen the monuments. I might have read a few plaques. But I would have missed the deeper understanding—the patterns, the turning points, the cause-and-effect decisions that shaped the outcome of the battle.
A guide doesn’t replace the experience. A guide maximizes the experience.
A guide helps you:
- See what you might miss.
- Understand the sequence of events.
- Avoid wrong turns.
- Make sense of complex moments.
And that is exactly why we do marriage coaching.
The Parallel to Marriage
Marriage, like my Gettysburg experience, is not experienced in a single moment. It unfolds over time. There are seasons, turning points, decisions, and patterns. And when you are living inside your marriage—especially during conflict or confusion—it can be difficult to see the full picture clearly.
After working with thousands of couples, we have learned something important:
- Most couples don’t recognize trouble early.
- Patterns often go unnoticed until pain is already present.
- Many marriages struggle not because of bad intentions, but because of unrecognized behaviors and beliefs.
As coaches, we have walked with couples through every season imaginable. We have seen what works—and what doesn’t. We can often spot potential problems long before a couple realizes they are there. We have also seen the behaviors, habits, and mindset shifts that consistently lead to healing, restoration, and long-term health.
There is great wisdom in seeking a guide who has been where you want to go.
This Is a Biblical Principle
The idea of seeking guidance is not just practical—it is deeply biblical.
Scripture tells us: “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14)
God designed growth to happen in relationship. Wisdom is transferred. Perspective is shared. Blind spots are lovingly revealed. Even strong, capable people benefit from counsel. Marriage was never meant to be navigated alone.
Just as I trusted a Park Ranger to guide me through Gettysburg so I could understand the journey, couples benefit from trusted, experienced guidance to help them navigate marriage with clarity, purpose, and hope.
Don’t Walk Alone
You don’t seek a guide because you’re failing.
You seek a guide because what you’re stewarding is valuable.
Whether your marriage is thriving and you want to strengthen it—or you’re facing challenges and need clarity—you don’t have to figure it out on your own.
There is wisdom in walking with someone who can help you see the terrain ahead, understand what’s happening now, and guide you to where you want to go.
Don’t go through marriage alone. Walk with a trusted guide who can help you maximize your effort and your future together.
If you’re ready to take that step, we would be honored to walk with you. You can contact us through our website, https://yourgreatmarriage.help/marriage-help/, or directly at, help@yourgreatmarriage.help.